Stand-Up Comedians on Working Out

Jennifer Purdie
by Jennifer Purdie
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Stand-Up Comedians on Working Out

We all need a laugh sometimes — especially while training for that next marathon or 5K. Keeping a sense of humor is often what gets you through those rough times. In that spirit, these professional comedians offer humorous takes on exercise and the drive to be fit:

“I run marathons, which is not braggin ‘cause I’m not good at ‘em. I am currently still finishing the last one.”

– Comedian Liz Miele, on her comedy album, “Mind Over Melee”

“TRX: when you aspire to be in Cirque de Soleil.”

– Certified laughter leader, Bobbe White of Try Laughter! Inc.

“Time adjusts the story, but I will never stop exercising. In my 30s, I ran. In my 40s, I jogged. In my 50s, I walked. Now, I do leg cramps.”

– Mental Health Expert Lynette Louise of The Brain Broad

“My personal trainer described my food journal as ‘a real tearjerker.’”

– Comedian Kendra Cunningham, Last Comic Standing, on her comedy album, “Blonde Logic”


“When life gives you lemons, make lemon water because lemonade has too many carbs.”

– Comedian and actress Abby Feldman, on “Gringolandia,” and Netflix’s new series, “OVULADY”

“I’m wearing a fitness device which wants me to walk 10,000 steps a day. I love it because it doesn’t care how I achieve those 10,000 steps. If I’m walking into a Dairy Queen for the fourth time and that’s when I hit 10,000, the gadget buzzes …”

– Comedian and author Greg Schwem, corporate emcee

“What I don’t understand about runners: They drink a Diet Coke before they run, and come back and eat regular chips with a Diet Coke.”

– Comedian Charmaine Weems

“I just had a very unique thought: ‘What if I’m happy with my body?’ Can you imagine? That would put so many people out of business. Gyms, Sephora, my therapist … For the good of the American economy, I better just stop working out.”

– Comedian Sue Smith, of VH1’s “UCB”

“I met a woman who rowed solo across three oceans. Biggest challenge? Halfway across the Atlantic she ran out of coffee. Then she looked up, and there was a Starbucks.”

– Comedian Shaun Eli, corporate comedy

“Every runner looks like they’re running from something not for something. Never seen a more miserable looking group.”

– Stand-up comedian Mike Young, host of podcast “Stories That Need to be Told”

“I can’t trust any of those exercise DVDs because how do I know that the person on the DVD got in shape using the methods of the DVD? The people on the DVDs are already in shape on the first disc of the DVDs. For me to use one of those DVDs, I would need for the person to start out out of shape, then as they go along they get in shape. Then that way if I quit, I can still watch it like a reality show. “I didn’t make it, but let me see if he makes it!”

– Comedian Rob Haze, Project: Most Races Show on Earth


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About the Author

Jennifer Purdie
Jennifer Purdie
Jennifer is a Southern California-based freelance writer who covers topics such as health, fitness, lifestyle and travel for both national and regional publications. She runs marathons across the world and is an Ironman finisher. She is also a certified personal trainer through the National Academy of Sports Medicine. You can follow her on Twitter @jenpurdie.


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