How LaCroix Water Saved My Life

Chris LaMorte
by Chris LaMorte
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How LaCroix Water Saved My Life

Some people travel to Lourdes, France, just for the water.

These faithful pilgrims swear the stuff will miraculously cure all manner of physical ills and afflictions. While I can’t knock anyone’s beliefs, I’d just like to make two points:

  1. Save your frequent-flyer miles. You can buy Lourdes water on Amazon for $54 a liter.
  2. There’s a miracle water much closer than even Amazon. It’s at the grocery store. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s called LaCroix. It could change your life. Hey, it saved a wretch like me.

On that latter point, let me offer you a little personal testimony.

Yes, LaCroix is more than just a hipster Perrier. It might be hard to believe now, with the pastel-colored 12-packs towering at the end of grocery aisles, but growing up in the Midwest, LaCroix was something that was just sort of there — lurking in the grocery store. With the kale. And the lentils.

Apparently, they were plotting to take over our lives …

MEANWHILE, LIVING ON DIET SODA

One day after noticing that my diet soda/caffeine habit had grown to truly unmanageable levels, I had to do something. It wasn’t so much the pyramids of empty soda that surrounded my desk at the end of the day that were the problem, it was the day the doctor warned that my blood pressure was elevated — seriously elevated. Who me? How is that possible? I worked out. I ate well, OK, fairly well. What else could I do? The doctor said, cut back on the soda, even decaffeinated diet soda.

Easy for the doctor to say. See, I had never been an eight glasses of water person. I tried. Water is life, yes. But water is also, sorry, kind of a bore. Sure, drinking water has other benefits, but I had lived without radiant skin this long, and I got by just fine without it.

Still, I had to do something. The thought of a premature stroke was, for some reason, not sitting well with me.

Let’s look at my alternatives:

Herbal tea? Too much effort to boil water. (Don’t judge me.) Juice? (Why not inject sugar right into my veins). V-8? (With no vodka?)

MY LACROIX EPIPHANY

In a fit of inspiration I picked up some lemon LaCroix, which, true, by this time had slowly crept out of its humble position in local groceries and was starting to become a nationwide hit in places like Whole Foods.

Another piece of fortuitous timing: a recent trip to France — Paris, not Lourdes — turned me onto the pleasure of drinking more fizzy water. Though I had never considered drinking it at home. Too fancy for a simple Midwestern boy like me.

But, miraculously, LaCroix did the trick.


READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO POWER YOUR HYDRATION FOR PERFORMANCE


My theory: It wasn’t so much the caffeine I craved after all. Or at least not most of the time. It was the fizz. It was just a little excitement on my tongue. Simple. Convenient. Refreshment. Maybe that’s what tricked my brain into feeling like its 11 a.m. lunch break and 3 p.m. caffeine fix had been fulfilled. True, I still supplement with an afternoon tea on occasion, but my soda bills have plummeted.

Just like that, 20 years of craving my red-and-silver can of courage, suddenly, poof … gone. I changed without even thinking about it.

I think the reason is the versatility of the can format plays a big part of it, too. I grab a can chilled or at room temperature and don’t have to fuss with ice cubes. It’s there and the right size — not a big bottle of mineral water or a palm-sized bottle of expensive French stuff. If it goes flat, you can still finish it.

WATER FOR … WINE?

I have even turned to this Wisconsin miracle to curb my other liquid vice — a glass of wine (or three) at the end of the hard day. I find that having something that satisfies my adult palate is all I need. I don’t have a theory as to why LaCroix has managed to take the place of the wine-while-watching-TV ritual. Water is not wine. Even lemony, fizzy water is not wine.

Nevertheless, you’re more likely to see my cracking open a can of LaCroix than uncorking a cab on your average Tuesday night these days.

Yes, miracles never cease.

About the Author

Chris LaMorte
Chris LaMorte

Chris is a freelance writer living in Chicago. His work has appears in the Chicago Tribune, Crain’s Chicago Business, and McSweeney’s.

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22 responses to “How LaCroix Water Saved My Life”

  1. Avatar Samantha Espinoza says:

    My doctor has told me that drinking even carbonated water is bad. That it’s the carbonation that’s bad. If you drink 1 cup of fizzy water, it will take 7 cups of regular H2O to “clear it out of your system”. Has anyone else ever heard this?? It sounds like BS to me!!!!!!!

    • Avatar Loweded Wookie says:

      I read that the carbonation can dissolve the calcium in your bones leading to osteoporosis.

      Best water I’ve had is simply add 1/4 t of Citric Acid to tap water. Pure VitC with no sugar.

      Incidentally you can drink as much of this as you like because it’s actually impossible to overdose on VitC

      • Avatar Smiling Joe says:

        None of what you’re saying is true. You actually can have too much vitamin c, a five second google search will confirm that on the mayo clinic website. And carbonation does not dissolve the calcium in your bones. Pretty much every word of your post is false.

        • Avatar Celeste says:

          You’re wrong. Vitamin C is water soluble, and any excess is flushed from your system. However, megadoses can cause diarrhea.

        • Avatar Loweded Wookie says:

          You’re the one who is wrong. A study was done on terminally ill cancer patients where they just kept increasing the dosage of VitC to see if it would do anything. They got to 250g or a quarter of a kilogram before they gave up because it did not have any overdose effect.

          The issue of overdosing on VitC comes from if you use tablets or VitC formulas and the overdosing will not be the VitC but the other elements in those products.

          It’s impossible to overdose on something that cannot be stored by the body.

  2. Avatar Suzanne says:

    Instead of switching to La Croix, you probably should have switched doctors. There is nothing in decaffeinated diet soda that can raise your blood pressure.

    • Avatar Loweded Wookie says:

      Except the caffeine.

      Caffeine can cause the heart to beat faster than it should which in turn means it pumps more blood which increases the blood pressure as there is no extra room in the arteries for the blood to go.

      • Avatar Suzanne says:

        In the article, the author claims that his doctor told him to avoid “even decaffeinated soda.” Perhaps his doctor thought he wouldn’t comply unless he was told to cut out all sodas, or perhaps the author is misremembering the conversation.

    • Avatar Kate Paullin says:

      Regardless, diet pop is horrible for you, and anything (healthy) that gets someone to break their addiction to it is good.

    • Avatar Lois says:

      Anything with artificial sweetener is a no-no! Especially if you are drinking vats of it! You are just poisoning your body.

    • Avatar trivtrav says:

      Actually all diet (and regular) sodas contain some level of sodium which is linked to high blood pressure and a host of other problems. A can a day definitely won’t hurt you sodium-wise, but drinking a ton might. More likely in the author’s case is foods he is eating (most of our foods are PACKED with sodium), or simply age or genetics. Thresholds for what is considered high blood pressure have also recently been lowered to even more insane levels (so they can shove more medication down our throats), so that could also be the reason this has just now come up.

  3. Avatar Ivy says:

    If you live near a kroger, their seltzer waters are delicious and are cheaper than lacroix water(usually priced 2 12pks for $5). I recommend the coconut and blackberry citrus.

    • Avatar Tiffany Axt says:

      Have to watch most sparkling waters though. Some will come with sodium. So check the nutrition label to make sure there are no added stuff. If the kroger ones have nothing, then good to go.

  4. Avatar Celeste says:

    If you’ve had gastric bypass, this water is a big no-no. Any sort of carbonated drink or seltzer will stretch the pouch. Too bad for us, so I use a beautiful crystal pitcher, slice one lemon into thin slices and fill the pitcher with ice and filtered water. Stir in lemon slices to taste. Makes me feel like I’m having an expensive drink.

  5. Avatar Kate Paullin says:

    I love La Croix! I love that it doesn’t have sugar or fake sugar, like so many other sparkling waters. And it tastes good! It doesn’t work for me as a pop replacement, but that’s okay because I only crave pop a couple of times a month and I’m willing to give myself that minor indulgence when the craving hits. However, I do drink a lot of regular water and La Croix does give me a nice, flavorful yet calorie- and sugar-free option when I just need something different.

  6. Avatar Carysta says:

    I love pop too and I got myself a sodastream and I’ll do fizzy water + lemon juice or drop some frozen raspberries in there. Tastes great and no sugar or additives! And I can have fizzy water from my own tap 🙂

  7. Avatar Ariana says:

    Good for you to get off diet sodas. It is very real to be addicted to artificial sweeteners. A bit of bad news about La Croix waters. The cans are lined with BPA. They are working on finding an alternative, as are many other carbonated beverage companies that use a can.

  8. Avatar Joseph says:

    Thank you Chris for attempting to help us all with your article. I understood the point that Chris switched away, and why, and how, from the damaging sofas (recent studies have confirmed that coffee is benificial to health, unlike previously believed). I was left without any statements as to what was the current health metrics that proved that he was benifitting, especially since it was supposed to be a Life Saver. It was a story without validation as to how Chris is doing now, medically speaking. What are Chris’s blood pressure measurements. Has the doctor remarked that Chris is away from danger? Has Chris changed weight, that would be a side benifit? Has his A1C insulin resistance numbers been reduced? Otherwise this report just says. “I switched from soda to fizzy water.” That is all this says. It would be really valuable to know what Chris‘s markers were “after”. Thank you.

  9. Avatar j Akers says:

    Two words, Tap Water! I’ve been drinking it for 63 yrs. and haven’t been told to stop yet. In fact, my doctors encourage it. No pretentious names, minimal ecological impact, saves you tons of money, gas, time! *Warning – Your snobbish friends might avoid you(Oh, Well) !

  10. Avatar Jennifer Tipton says:

    What a great read Chris!

  11. Avatar DundeeU says:

    A little free advertising for LaCroix–or product placement?

  12. Avatar Chris N says:

    Coming to this late, having looked for plain water alternatives. I, like you, used to drink a lot (a LOT, no, really, I mean A LOT) of soda. I stopped that habit a few years ago, but have been wanting something fizzy since. I think LaCroix is exactly what I was looking for; thanks!

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