Much like Belle from “Beauty and the Beast” (because I prefer that over being called a nerd), I always have my nose stuck in a book. Recently, my nose led me to some statistics about New Year’s resolutions and let’s just say, I was not shocked. One study reported that only around 60% of New Year’s resolutions make it to February. Yet, year after year, we all get excited for what we are going to change come January 1, when the odds are completely stacked against us. What do you say we shake things up this year?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to become the Scrooge of New Year’s. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make changes. I’m just asking that you don’t wait another second to make the changes you need to make to be your best self. A lot of the articles, statistics and surveys I read pointed to the resolution itself as the cause of this lapse in completion. I, on the other hand, beg to differ. What I have learned in my brief 26 years on this blue marble is often times, it’s not the “what” that provides you with the truth, it’s the “why?” My point is: Perhaps it’s not the resolution that’s causing the “new you” kerfuffle; perhaps it’s the motive behind it. Allow me to get deep with you — if these “resolutions” never panned out, would you still love yourself? Better yet, do you love yourself? Let yourself really feel that question, because I have a couple more for you.
WHY THE CHANGE?
Let’s start with a basic, yet important, question: Why are you creating a resolution? Is it just because that’s the thing to do? There is nothing wrong with that! But be honest with yourself. If you’re doing it just because everyone else is, that could be a huge reason behind the failed attempts. You cannot gain momentum from the “because everyone else is doing it” motto. What parent has ever accepted the “because everyone else at school is doing it” excuse? So why would you accept that from yourself?
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired is one of the greatest motivators out there. What are you sick and tired of being sick and tired about? Is it your struggles with weight? Your financial bind? We all have our struggles that we carry around everyday and keep hidden from the world, but those who find true success in life are those who become sick and tired of their own self-restrictive habits. Once you stop changing for everyone else, you will find a well of untapped passion and motivation that can only come from within; from self-reflection and self-love. Here’s a hint for you: The cage you are in is unlocked.
WHY WAIT TO CHANGE?
After step one of figuring out why we are seeking change, you’re ready for my second question. Why are you waiting for the 1st of January to make changes you know need to be made? Maybe it was just my father that imprinted this into my brain as a child, but why put off until tomorrow what can be accomplished today?
Self-love and self-reflection don’t just happen the second we utter the words, “I love myself.” In fact, self-love takes a certain level of discipline and is really a lifelong journey of exploration. I can already hear you groaning: My job is stressful enough, my kids keep me busy enough, my finances are already tight, I don’t have time to be disciplined to love myself. I get it, I have been there. But I promise you, if you keep putting off what is needed to be a better you for a later date, that date will never come. If you don’t stop to smell the roses, to feel you love yourself entirely, those burdens will only mount. Why fuss over a burden you are unwilling to set down?
What if you shake up the game this year? What if you decide to start taking the steps to fulfill your sense of self-worth, of self-love, right now? Stop making annual resolutions to fill a void you haven’t allowed yourself to enter or explore. Start finding the hidden reasons behind why you feel the need to “change.” Remember, the answers are within yourself — it’s not about everyone else, it’s about you.
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