16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database

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16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database

MyFitnessPal
by MyFitnessPal
November 3, 2017
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16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database

We have 13.6 million foods in the MyFitnessPal database. That’s a staggering number of foods, and it’s all thanks to you lovely folks out there. Lucky us, a few of you also managed to sneak in some rather hilarious “foods.” (Don’t think we didn’t notice!) Below are 16 of the most hilarious “foods” in the database to date.

Go ahead, have a laugh. You’ll burn some calories!

1. CAT FOOD

Pet food at Whole Foods is apparently good enough for humans.

2. EVERYTHING (w/ 10^38 CALORIES)

When you’re so ravenous you want to eat up the universe. Why don’t the calories match up? O_o

3. TEARS OF MY ENEMIES

Because revenge tastes that sweet. Remember to serve it cold!

4. BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT

Huh… this would’ve been good for Halloween.

5. TEARS OF SMALL CHILDREN

Even the witch from Hansel and Gretel uses MyFitnessPal, apparently.

6. LIFE CHANGING LOAF OF BREAD

This is actually a real thing. Has anyone tried it?

7. I DO NOT REGRET THIS!

Sounds like a “cheat day.”

8. LOVE

Ever gained relationship weight? It could be because love costs calories.

9. REGRET

Such a waste of macros.

10. REGRETTING THIS GUT BUSTING TOE COSTING DIABETIC NIGHTMARE

We think you hurt the brownie’s feelings.

11. TOO MUCH BOOZE

Yup… 500 calories oughta do it.

12. OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

Enough said…

13. TURKEY DINNER WITH EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE

This entry is just in time for the holidays.

14. NIGHTMARES

C’mon. We’ve all woken up in a cold sweat after dreaming we ate our term paper… and then logged it just to be safe.

15. GUILT FREE COOKIES

We like the attitude! Enjoy what you eat, don’t feel guilty.

16. HOT FUDGE SUNDAE, ONE SCOOP w/WHIP AND A WORLD OF REGRET

The World of Hurt isn’t far behind…

Found a few hilarious foods in the database? Share yours below.

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MyFitnessPal

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54 responses to “16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database”

  1. Avatar Adorable Deplorable says:
    December 12, 2016 at 11:48 am

    extracto concentrado de testiculo de humano macho
    (My spanish is bad, but I’m pretty sure this is semen…)
    semen de mípalo, 0.25 taza, 15 calories

    Reply
  2. Avatar clj810 says:
    December 13, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Knowledge.
    The revenge of the Shadow King.
    Serving size, 1 book

    Reply
  3. Avatar Indy Trucker says:
    December 19, 2016 at 6:26 am

    Perhaps that’s one of the bigger problems with this app…there’s not moderation of what foods can be entered in the database!

    Reply
  4. Avatar desmarsol says:
    December 19, 2016 at 11:23 am

    While this appears amusing on the surface it’s indicative of the biggest problem with the database. It’s difficult to make consistent entries and in my opinion the weakest link in the entire app.

    Reply
    • Avatar Vinnygret says:
      December 19, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      Yikes, grow a sense of humor, will ya? We’re you LOOKING in the app for noms or tears of anybody or anything? If not these entries won’t affect you and will still be enjoyed by more relaxed folks. Maybe you should enter “particles from gritted teeth.”

      Reply
    • Avatar Cari Bunker Stanley says:
      December 19, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      Because we can’t read an article about ANYTHING without complaining.

      Reply
    • Avatar Amie says:
      December 20, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      Bah Humbug

      Reply
    • Avatar Rome says:
      December 22, 2016 at 10:57 am

      I know what you mean, there are often 20 different entries for one food so it makes consistency harder. It would be great if there was a filter somehow that tossed out the faulty entries

      Reply
      • Avatar Saz says:
        January 21, 2017 at 2:40 am

        I often scan barcodes or enter all the ingredients in manually when making dinner. It takes a bit longer but you know it’s correct. At the end of the day, it’s all a bit of a rough guide anyway. Being aware of what you’re eating is the main thing. Good luck wi
        th your goals everyone!

        Reply
      • Avatar LS says:
        December 11, 2017 at 9:50 am

        I scan barcodes & compare against the label. If it has incomplete or outdated info, I scroll to the bottom and click “Find a better match”. I can usually find another entry that’s accurate, which corrects the record associated with that barcode for everyone! If I can’t find another correct entry, I’ll go to my laptop & correct the entry associated with that barcode. (For some reason, you can no longer correct entries on the app.)

        I do wish there was a way to flag duplicates, so MFP could remove redundant entries.

        Reply
  5. Avatar Gerald Vaughn says:
    December 19, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    There should be lots of fiber in tears of my enemies.

    Reply
  6. Avatar Stacey Vanyo says:
    December 19, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    The Life-Changing Loaf of Bread is a real and wonderful thing! Dreamed up by Sarah Britton over at My New Roots, it’s a dense, hearty, magical “bread” made almost entirely of nuts & seeds, all bound together with psyllium husk. I bake a loaf every week and will just say that the life-changing aspect of it REALLY comes through when it comes to keeping you, er, regular. I highly recommend!

    Reply
  7. Avatar Linda Bowery says:
    December 19, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Absolutely hilarious!

    Reply
  8. Avatar yada says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    For those saying that this is the problem with the data base…. You do know there is a symbol next to certified foods with verified information right? So if you use the app correctly, you don’t have to worry about things like these being in the database, and can see them for the fun and laugh they are, and not something that will mess you up in your logging.

    Reply
    • Avatar Indy Trucker says:
      December 22, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      And yet you can pick any McDonald’s sandwich…and there will be 5+ verified entries…all with different nutritional data. Major fail!

      Reply
      • Avatar Kanzaㅤ says:
        December 31, 2016 at 1:42 am

        McDonald’s changes shape and nutrictional facts every time someone in another country logs it. So your Chicken burger may be 300 or 599, and being verified cause, differences.

        Reply
      • Avatar benanderson89 says:
        March 9, 2017 at 12:57 am

        Each country has its own variant recipe. For example, a Quarter Pounder in the UK has less salt than one in the USA.

        Reply
        • Avatar Joanne Lawrence says:
          March 15, 2017 at 4:50 pm

          This, yep. That’s why I always look for entries that say Canada. For chain restaurants, though, I still often cross-reference the restaurant’s website, just to be safe.

          Reply
  9. Avatar Derek says:
    December 19, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Copenhagen long cut chewing tobacco, when scanned gives its nutrition facts.

    Reply
  10. Avatar Crystal says:
    December 20, 2016 at 4:12 am

    It’s not unusual for people to eat pet food as a source of many nutrients especially when strapped for cash….”hilarious”, it definitely isn’t.

    Reply
    • Avatar StarWarsFan says:
      February 20, 2017 at 11:21 pm

      That is sad and I had not though of that. That said, I would suspect that the price of Whole Foods Cat Food could buy you quite a bit of human food at the market.

      Reply
  11. Avatar ashash says:
    December 20, 2016 at 7:34 am

    The brownie binger has an eating disorder. LOL, so hilarious!!!!!

    Reply
  12. Avatar Justice League says:
    December 20, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Love it!

    Reply
  13. Avatar karalie says:
    December 20, 2016 at 10:16 am

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af16cc97739ab1c42fa2274ac7a878cf26024f6d268990d97e8d07a8818d8c96.png

    There’s an entry for Human Liver and Fava Beans 5 cups, and only 10 calories!!

    Reply
  14. Avatar Jaime Lynn says:
    December 20, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    As a Ginger, I have a unique diet….. I hope this is in the data base. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d96c76b52b9e83d01d95c39aa53ae17c8aa1b1caa2810831463a24c15be614f.jpg

    Reply
  15. Avatar Rachu7 says:
    December 20, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    Haha 😉 I found “shitty shit for me” 1000 calories + “health shit 2 balls” 280 calories lmao XD

    Reply
  16. Avatar Carol Borkowski Bruell says:
    December 20, 2016 at 7:13 pm

    We scanned the barcode on the Clorox wipes and got “Jim Wipes Peanut Butter”

    Reply
  17. Avatar tpkyteroo says:
    December 21, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    These foods may be funny to some of us, but I have found that entering in a food with a silly title and the reality of what it would cost me to eat it, to actually HELP ME to AVOID that food and not want to eat it.

    How does this work? Take the Extraordinary Hot Fudge Sundae – 3 scoops on a bed of dark chocolate fudge, sliced marachino cherries, add hot fudge over that, add chocolate Cool Whip, Ready Whip, more cherries on top of that and drizzle with more hot fudge. Now, if I were to instead call this “Death Puke” and say it has 2000 calories, 0 fiber does this sound more apetizing to you? No. Who wants to eat “Death Puke”? However, I know that it means the Extraordinary Hot Fudge Sundae. And, It gives me humour and makes me not want to eat that hot fudge sundae. Truth in advertising – I used to eat 4 scoops of ice cream with cool whip, 8 oreo cookies and hershey’s chocolate sauce in a tin can after school every day I could sneak it before my parents got home. This was when we lived at my grandparents house while my parents saved money to build there home.

    Granted, this may not mean anything to you, but come up with your own funny names. Oreo Cookies could very easily become Ghost Poop.

    NOTE: I did not enter these names into the data base, but I did call any ice cream with chocolate sauce with additional chocolate sugar desserts “Death Puke”. Its how I stopped my ice cream addiction.

    Reply
  18. Avatar tpkyteroo says:
    December 21, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Going Vegan and eating half the plate in Vegetables, 1/4 protein and 1/4 Quinoa or brown rice also helps. Legumes are a great source of fiber. Vegans rarely have constipation issues. We normally go 3 or 4 times a day. Romaine, Head Lettuce, various Salad greens also work.

    BTW, its the psyllium husk that is providing the benefit. Nuts and seeds contain protein that would act more like a binder than a laxative. Dairy, Meats and Poultry also act as constipators. Dairy also has the added benefit of bloating so that if you want people to think you are pregnant, just eat lots of dairy every day, and have cheese as your snack of choice. My dad looks 6 months pregnant. 😉 Seriously, those who do eat a healthy whole foods Vegan diet tend to have the unfortunate life span of many more year on earth then Omni or meat eaters do. Vegans tend to out live omni eaters by 14 years. I won’t out live an omni by 14 years as I do eat dairy when I eat out but only because I have other food allergies that make eating the Vegan salad (because 99% of the restaurants out there do not know how to provide a gluten free meal for Vegans, let alone a gluten meal for vegans).

    Reply
  19. Avatar gglockner says:
    December 28, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    How do you scan the barcode for Om nom nom … ?

    Reply
  20. Avatar Sahar Webb says:
    January 5, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    There is biggest problem with database it is difficult to make consistent entries.

    Reply
  21. Avatar Fit2fat&neva went back says:
    January 7, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    I found “dog food”, “Orphan tears” measured in children 1800 calories each, “Dry insect repellent”, ” Nipple sweat” measured in licks and so many more “Too much…”

    Reply
  22. Avatar Olivegirl says:
    January 20, 2017 at 8:21 am

    When I scan my usual brand of green olives it comes up with “Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich”. I discovered this when my martini was over 10,000 calories (What can I say, I like a lot of chicken sandwiches in my gin.)

    Reply
  23. Avatar Herbessence says:
    January 21, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    lol I enjoyed the thanksgiving one with 1,000,000 calories and the Drank too much booze -8 oz or more can’t remember for 500. lol a mikes harder lemonade has about 400 calories. they should have aimed more towards 1,500. to be safe. Oh the humor in a lack of tracking but still trying to log. 😀

    Reply
  24. Avatar Africanaussie says:
    February 8, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    that life changing loaf of bread is a real thing, very good – great way to get in some good fiber!

    Reply
  25. Avatar lilmissneo says:
    February 9, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    I think the restaurant tax is kind of brilliant. Restaurants use way more fat, salt, and sugar than we do in our own home cooking so if it’s not a chain with posted nutritional information, you are guessing based on what you see on your plate. The restaurant tax with each meal out probably comes closer to the true counts of what they are eating.

    Reply
  26. Avatar Christin says:
    February 21, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Too much guilt. Food isn’t the enemy. You really can have your cake and eat it too. It’s not the end of the world.
    Members need to stop punishing themselves for eating ice cream.
    It happens. You’re okay. There’s always tomorrow and the rest of your life.
    Take baby steps.
    I had about four ounces of a triple layer oreo fudge cake for desert tonight. And it was awesome. But I’m not dredging over it. I don’t eat cake every night nor every day. Done a lot of work today, didn’t have any late night snacks and tomorrow it’s more work and walking.
    Pretty sure I’m gonna be okay tomorrow.
    I’m not looking to to be dolled up like a model. I’m looking to look like me, which occasionally involves cake…..and ice cream…..cheesecake. Still lost weight and am still healthy.

    Reply
  27. Avatar fat_and_proud says:
    December 11, 2017 at 6:45 am

    How dare you fatshaming scum trigger me, I am literally shaking right now.

    Reply
  28. Avatar Helena Gay Davison says:
    December 11, 2017 at 11:21 am

    #6. Life changing bread loaf is a no knead bread recipe with the most incredible crust ever. I make it a lot. I add a cup of small diced sharp cheddar cheese to it. It is awesome.

    Reply

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