16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database

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16 Weird & Hilarious Foods Hidden in the MyFitnessPal Database

We have 13.6 million foods in the MyFitnessPal database. That’s a staggering number of foods, and it’s all thanks to you lovely folks out there. Lucky us, a few of you also managed to sneak in some rather hilarious “foods.” (Don’t think we didn’t notice!) Below are 16 of the most hilarious “foods” in the database to date.

Go ahead, have a laugh. You’ll burn some calories!

1. CAT FOOD

catfood

Pet food at Whole Foods is apparently good enough for humans.

2. EVERYTHING (w/ 10^38 CALORIES)

everything

When you’re so ravenous you want to eat up the universe. Why don’t the calories match up? O_o

3. TEARS OF MY ENEMIES

tearsofmyenemies

Because revenge tastes that sweet. Remember to serve it cold!

4. BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT

bloodoftheinnocent

Huh… this would’ve been good for Halloween.

5. TEARS OF SMALL CHILDREN

tearsofsmallchildren

Even the witch from Hansel and Gretel uses MyFitnessPal, apparently.

6. LIFE CHANGING LOAF OF BREAD

lifechangingloafofbread

This is actually a real thing. Has anyone tried it?

7. I DO NOT REGRET THIS!

idonotregretthis

Sounds like a “cheat day.”

8. LOVE

love

Ever gained relationship weight? It could be because love costs calories.

9. REGRET

regret

Such a waste of macros.

10. REGRETTING THIS GUT BUSTING TOE COSTING DIABETIC NIGHTMARE

regrettingthis

We think you hurt the brownie’s feelings.

11. TOO MUCH BOOZE

toomuchbooze

Yup… 500 calories oughta do it.

12. OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

omnomnom

Enough said…

13. TURKEY DINNER WITH EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE

turkeydinner

This entry is just in time for the holidays.

14. NIGHTMARES

nightmares

C’mon. We’ve all woken up in a cold sweat after dreaming we ate our term paper… and then logged it just to be safe.

15. GUILT FREE COOKIES

guiltfreecookies

We like the attitude! Enjoy what you eat, don’t feel guilty.

16. HOT FUDGE SUNDAE, ONE SCOOP w/WHIP AND A WORLD OF REGRET

hotfudgesundae

The World of Hurt isn’t far behind…

Found a few hilarious foods in the database? Share yours below.

Related

  • Adorable Deplorable

    extracto concentrado de testiculo de humano macho
    (My spanish is bad, but I’m pretty sure this is semen…)
    semen de mípalo, 0.25 taza, 15 calories

    • Flomulous

      I’d like to help with your research – are you busy later?

      • Cleopatra Jones

        I just spit my coffee across the table with that response. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh

      • Adorable Deplorable

        Sorry, Flomulous, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

        • Rome

          Sophie in Sophie’s choice suggests it might be good for your face and also have the nutritional content of an egg white omlette

    • tpkyteroo

      I agree, but out of curiosity I decided to see what Google translator says, “Concentrated human testicular extract”.

  • clj810

    Knowledge.
    The revenge of the Shadow King.
    Serving size, 1 book

  • Indy Trucker

    Perhaps that’s one of the bigger problems with this app…there’s not moderation of what foods can be entered in the database!

    • Rome
  • desmarsol

    While this appears amusing on the surface it’s indicative of the biggest problem with the database. It’s difficult to make consistent entries and in my opinion the weakest link in the entire app.

    • Vinnygret

      Yikes, grow a sense of humor, will ya? We’re you LOOKING in the app for noms or tears of anybody or anything? If not these entries won’t affect you and will still be enjoyed by more relaxed folks. Maybe you should enter “particles from gritted teeth.”

      • Kristina

        Great response!

      • Wendy

        Agree. Get real; people. Do you know laughter burns calories?

      • Stephani

        Haha… “particles from gritted teeth” hahaha

      • Or “The Darkness I Shed on the Enjoyment of Others.” (Let’s laugh at ourselves and use the tool to help, not hinder. Many of these made me giggle and “Laughter is the best diet…er…medicine.”) I agree with you. ;>)

        • Vinnygret

          Bwa ha ha – Schadenfreude (thank you German, for a wonderful word)

    • Cari Bunker Stanley

      Because we can’t read an article about ANYTHING without complaining.

    • Amie

      Bah Humbug

    • Rome

      I know what you mean, there are often 20 different entries for one food so it makes consistency harder. It would be great if there was a filter somehow that tossed out the faulty entries

      • Saz

        I often scan barcodes or enter all the ingredients in manually when making dinner. It takes a bit longer but you know it’s correct. At the end of the day, it’s all a bit of a rough guide anyway. Being aware of what you’re eating is the main thing. Good luck wi
        th your goals everyone!

  • Gerald Vaughn

    There should be lots of fiber in tears of my enemies.

    • Supercharged75

      I think they are high in sodium content. LOL

  • Stacey Vanyo

    The Life-Changing Loaf of Bread is a real and wonderful thing! Dreamed up by Sarah Britton over at My New Roots, it’s a dense, hearty, magical “bread” made almost entirely of nuts & seeds, all bound together with psyllium husk. I bake a loaf every week and will just say that the life-changing aspect of it REALLY comes through when it comes to keeping you, er, regular. I highly recommend!

  • Linda Bowery

    Absolutely hilarious!

  • yada

    For those saying that this is the problem with the data base…. You do know there is a symbol next to certified foods with verified information right? So if you use the app correctly, you don’t have to worry about things like these being in the database, and can see them for the fun and laugh they are, and not something that will mess you up in your logging.

    • Indy Trucker

      And yet you can pick any McDonald’s sandwich…and there will be 5+ verified entries…all with different nutritional data. Major fail!

      • Kanzaㅤ

        McDonald’s changes shape and nutrictional facts every time someone in another country logs it. So your Chicken burger may be 300 or 599, and being verified cause, differences.

      • benanderson89

        Each country has its own variant recipe. For example, a Quarter Pounder in the UK has less salt than one in the USA.

        • Joanne Lawrence

          This, yep. That’s why I always look for entries that say Canada. For chain restaurants, though, I still often cross-reference the restaurant’s website, just to be safe.

  • Derek

    Copenhagen long cut chewing tobacco, when scanned gives its nutrition facts.

  • Crystal

    It’s not unusual for people to eat pet food as a source of many nutrients especially when strapped for cash….”hilarious”, it definitely isn’t.

    • StarWarsFan

      That is sad and I had not though of that. That said, I would suspect that the price of Whole Foods Cat Food could buy you quite a bit of human food at the market.

  • ashash

    The brownie binger has an eating disorder. LOL, so hilarious!!!!!

    • Paula Borman

      what about “The Hangover.” Whatever it is, it has 1,000 calories.

  • Justice League

    Love it!

  • karalie

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af16cc97739ab1c42fa2274ac7a878cf26024f6d268990d97e8d07a8818d8c96.png

    There’s an entry for Human Liver and Fava Beans 5 cups, and only 10 calories!!

    • tea

      all the calories come from the nice chianti that’s usually paired with that meal 🙂

  • Jaime Lynn

    As a Ginger, I have a unique diet….. I hope this is in the data base. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d96c76b52b9e83d01d95c39aa53ae17c8aa1b1caa2810831463a24c15be614f.jpg

    • saintez

      HaHaHaHa!

  • Rachu7

    Haha 😉 I found “shitty shit for me” 1000 calories + “health shit 2 balls” 280 calories lmao XD

  • Carol Borkowski Bruell

    We scanned the barcode on the Clorox wipes and got “Jim Wipes Peanut Butter”

  • tpkyteroo

    These foods may be funny to some of us, but I have found that entering in a food with a silly title and the reality of what it would cost me to eat it, to actually HELP ME to AVOID that food and not want to eat it.

    How does this work? Take the Extraordinary Hot Fudge Sundae – 3 scoops on a bed of dark chocolate fudge, sliced marachino cherries, add hot fudge over that, add chocolate Cool Whip, Ready Whip, more cherries on top of that and drizzle with more hot fudge. Now, if I were to instead call this “Death Puke” and say it has 2000 calories, 0 fiber does this sound more apetizing to you? No. Who wants to eat “Death Puke”? However, I know that it means the Extraordinary Hot Fudge Sundae. And, It gives me humour and makes me not want to eat that hot fudge sundae. Truth in advertising – I used to eat 4 scoops of ice cream with cool whip, 8 oreo cookies and hershey’s chocolate sauce in a tin can after school every day I could sneak it before my parents got home. This was when we lived at my grandparents house while my parents saved money to build there home.

    Granted, this may not mean anything to you, but come up with your own funny names. Oreo Cookies could very easily become Ghost Poop.

    NOTE: I did not enter these names into the data base, but I did call any ice cream with chocolate sauce with additional chocolate sugar desserts “Death Puke”. Its how I stopped my ice cream addiction.

  • tpkyteroo

    Going Vegan and eating half the plate in Vegetables, 1/4 protein and 1/4 Quinoa or brown rice also helps. Legumes are a great source of fiber. Vegans rarely have constipation issues. We normally go 3 or 4 times a day. Romaine, Head Lettuce, various Salad greens also work.

    BTW, its the psyllium husk that is providing the benefit. Nuts and seeds contain protein that would act more like a binder than a laxative. Dairy, Meats and Poultry also act as constipators. Dairy also has the added benefit of bloating so that if you want people to think you are pregnant, just eat lots of dairy every day, and have cheese as your snack of choice. My dad looks 6 months pregnant. 😉 Seriously, those who do eat a healthy whole foods Vegan diet tend to have the unfortunate life span of many more year on earth then Omni or meat eaters do. Vegans tend to out live omni eaters by 14 years. I won’t out live an omni by 14 years as I do eat dairy when I eat out but only because I have other food allergies that make eating the Vegan salad (because 99% of the restaurants out there do not know how to provide a gluten free meal for Vegans, let alone a gluten meal for vegans).

  • gglockner

    How do you scan the barcode for Om nom nom … ?

  • Sahar Webb

    There is biggest problem with database it is difficult to make consistent entries.

  • Fit2fat&neva went back

    I found “dog food”, “Orphan tears” measured in children 1800 calories each, “Dry insect repellent”, ” Nipple sweat” measured in licks and so many more “Too much…”

  • Olivegirl

    When I scan my usual brand of green olives it comes up with “Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich”. I discovered this when my martini was over 10,000 calories (What can I say, I like a lot of chicken sandwiches in my gin.)

  • Herbessence

    lol I enjoyed the thanksgiving one with 1,000,000 calories and the Drank too much booze -8 oz or more can’t remember for 500. lol a mikes harder lemonade has about 400 calories. they should have aimed more towards 1,500. to be safe. Oh the humor in a lack of tracking but still trying to log. 😀

  • that life changing loaf of bread is a real thing, very good – great way to get in some good fiber!

  • lilmissneo

    I think the restaurant tax is kind of brilliant. Restaurants use way more fat, salt, and sugar than we do in our own home cooking so if it’s not a chain with posted nutritional information, you are guessing based on what you see on your plate. The restaurant tax with each meal out probably comes closer to the true counts of what they are eating.

  • Christin

    Too much guilt. Food isn’t the enemy. You really can have your cake and eat it too. It’s not the end of the world.
    Members need to stop punishing themselves for eating ice cream.
    It happens. You’re okay. There’s always tomorrow and the rest of your life.
    Take baby steps.
    I had about four ounces of a triple layer oreo fudge cake for desert tonight. And it was awesome. But I’m not dredging over it. I don’t eat cake every night nor every day. Done a lot of work today, didn’t have any late night snacks and tomorrow it’s more work and walking.
    Pretty sure I’m gonna be okay tomorrow.
    I’m not looking to to be dolled up like a model. I’m looking to look like me, which occasionally involves cake…..and ice cream…..cheesecake. Still lost weight and am still healthy.